I also have a biracial teenage daughter with a skincare fridge of Sephora products and a hatred for me when I drag her on hikes. There are at least 2 of them in the universe.
I couldn’t relate more! It’s a practically impossible situation. The only advice I can give is to keep it real. “I don’t know what to say right now” comes to mind.
When I knew I had to say “no”, I one time pleaded, “Do you think this is easy??? It’d be so easy to say yes even though it goes against everything I know to be true. Give me a break!!”
Wow. Yes and. I'm not a parent, and am involve with a few kids through their stages. My mom died 3 years ago 3/19 - and I tried to look back to acknowledge the teenager I had been. It wasn't fun for me to be around me, much less anyone else. And yet, she was always there. And you are so pot on, the world is better, and profoundly terrifying.
Great essay as always. Ok, so the typo that your stepson is 264 years old gave me the biggest laugh ever, and I really needed that today when I had a biopsy on a tumor. It was a little thing of grace.
I also have a daughter, not yet teen but on her way, and it pains me so much that we will be sending them into a world that is so terrible right now.
But you know what? I'm glad your daughter is angry, and I also teacher my daughter that there are a lot of people out there, especially men, who do not think woman are equal. I want her to know the truth and go out into the world armed with knowledge, not naivete. I grew up fed the delusion that we are all equal and we can be anything and it did me no good. I had to spend a lot of time as an adult unlearning those myths and facing the misogyny that was always there (oh yes, even in the nostalgic good ol' days of the '80s). I think it is better to see the devil for what he is rather than be fooled by his disguise that he's your friend.
I don't feel much hope in general for the world right now, but I do feel hope for your daughter and mine. They are much smarter than we were at their ages and I hope that they will be able to cut through the B.S. faster.
🤦♀️ Thank you for catching that typo (fixed now) and glad it could give you a chuckle on what sounds like a very challenging day. Sending all the good vibes your way!
Growing up, I similarly believed that we had already achieved gender equality, and it was quite a shock to learn otherwise. I agree that it's important to be open and honest about these things. My favorite quote, attributed to Gloria Steinem, is, "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." Indeed!
Having just spent 5 days with her, I relate to everything you say!! And the difficulty of not taking it personally. At the same time, one night she spontaneously danced in the living room singing along with a song with a beautiful childlike innocence and un-self-consciousness that still lives under the surface. We had a fun game of Hangman waiting for our dinner on our night out and a short game of basketball. Little moments when she helped make the world more beautiful. Let's keep fanning those little flames!
I also have a biracial teenage daughter with a skincare fridge of Sephora products and a hatred for me when I drag her on hikes. There are at least 2 of them in the universe.
Good luck to us :)
They will thank us for the hiking someday. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself!
I couldn’t relate more! It’s a practically impossible situation. The only advice I can give is to keep it real. “I don’t know what to say right now” comes to mind.
When I knew I had to say “no”, I one time pleaded, “Do you think this is easy??? It’d be so easy to say yes even though it goes against everything I know to be true. Give me a break!!”
Good luck- it does get better.
Wow. Yes and. I'm not a parent, and am involve with a few kids through their stages. My mom died 3 years ago 3/19 - and I tried to look back to acknowledge the teenager I had been. It wasn't fun for me to be around me, much less anyone else. And yet, she was always there. And you are so pot on, the world is better, and profoundly terrifying.
Omg can I just say I jolted at "my 264 year old step son" I was like "whoa, am I THAT high?!" lol
🤣
So good and relatable — and really hard💔
This is all so true! You nailed it.
Great essay as always. Ok, so the typo that your stepson is 264 years old gave me the biggest laugh ever, and I really needed that today when I had a biopsy on a tumor. It was a little thing of grace.
I also have a daughter, not yet teen but on her way, and it pains me so much that we will be sending them into a world that is so terrible right now.
But you know what? I'm glad your daughter is angry, and I also teacher my daughter that there are a lot of people out there, especially men, who do not think woman are equal. I want her to know the truth and go out into the world armed with knowledge, not naivete. I grew up fed the delusion that we are all equal and we can be anything and it did me no good. I had to spend a lot of time as an adult unlearning those myths and facing the misogyny that was always there (oh yes, even in the nostalgic good ol' days of the '80s). I think it is better to see the devil for what he is rather than be fooled by his disguise that he's your friend.
I don't feel much hope in general for the world right now, but I do feel hope for your daughter and mine. They are much smarter than we were at their ages and I hope that they will be able to cut through the B.S. faster.
🤦♀️ Thank you for catching that typo (fixed now) and glad it could give you a chuckle on what sounds like a very challenging day. Sending all the good vibes your way!
Growing up, I similarly believed that we had already achieved gender equality, and it was quite a shock to learn otherwise. I agree that it's important to be open and honest about these things. My favorite quote, attributed to Gloria Steinem, is, "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." Indeed!
A good reason to subscribe! We subscribers get the 264-year-old typo :)
It gave me a laugh too.
Yes, it was an unintentional subscriber bonus! 😂
Having just spent 5 days with her, I relate to everything you say!! And the difficulty of not taking it personally. At the same time, one night she spontaneously danced in the living room singing along with a song with a beautiful childlike innocence and un-self-consciousness that still lives under the surface. We had a fun game of Hangman waiting for our dinner on our night out and a short game of basketball. Little moments when she helped make the world more beautiful. Let's keep fanning those little flames!
Teenagers are tough, especially daughters with strong moms. Breathe, and keep breathing. ❤️