13 Comments
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Mary Austin (she/her)'s avatar

This made my day! I've been thinking lately about my own attempts to please silver-haired white men, so they would hand me life's goodies, so there's lots of resonance here, for me. And you made me laugh. Thanks so much.

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Kerala Goodkin's avatar

I'm happy to make one person's day! So glad you enjoyed this. It was immensely enjoyable to write!

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Cheniece Patrick's avatar

Silence and smiles will get us nowhere, and quickly. And I'm not good at either!

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AKBB's avatar

Love this post. Thank you for writing it. I’m working on giving 0 fucks to those silver haired guys and the people adjacent to them who might not look like silver haired men but manage companies in their style.

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Kerala Goodkin's avatar

Absolutely! There are so many silver-haired-men-adjacent folks who feel pressured to internalize their values and imitate their dominant, egotistical leadership styles.

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Kari Bentley-Quinn's avatar

I am in my 40s, and I am working on the fuck-shedding, BUT I am here to vouch for scheduled sex. I tell newly married friends this and they seem HORRIFIED, but if I know anything after 19 years of marriage, spontaneity is short-lived and, frankly, overrated.

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Kerala Goodkin's avatar

Preach! We really need to get rid of the stigma around scheduled sex. For a few years after having kids, I thought I'd lost my sex drive entirely, but when I had a whole day to anticipate and prepare, my libido came roaring back. I shamelessly recommend scheduled sex to just about every couple I know (and yes, I've seen many looks of horror!).

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Kari Bentley-Quinn's avatar

It’s fun to anticipate things! People forget this!

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Seth Lorinczi's avatar

Wow. Just appreciate the searing honesty--and beautiful prose--so much.

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Kerala Goodkin's avatar

Thank you Seth, this piece was one of those ones that just flowed out of me. The title occurred to me first and the rest followed. It was quite cathartic to write!

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Seth Lorinczi's avatar

I 1000% feel that; that's exactly how it reads!

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Istiaq Mian's avatar

I'm drawn to this kind of writing. It's honest. #subscribed

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Ashleigh Vaughn's avatar

As someone who fought hard to get to a point where I was no longer a die hard people-pleaser concerned with optics and perceptions, I appreciate this post and all the "fucks" that were included lol

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